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why is it always

I feel as if I'm losing myself again, though I suppose one needs to have found oneself before they can every really be lost.

My mind is is a rock, and it hangs heavily over everything I do, while my heart...

Oh, my heart. It is pulling me East. To the "you" that spared me one evening of your fame-ridden life. The "you" that awoke burgeoning wants I only dreamt I had. I want to leave myself. I want to desert what I have spent years building (and at the moment am finally coming to appreciate).

Everything. Uprooted, for you.  Never have I so badly screamed for a dream life. Deep discussions about mundane obscurities, guitar harmonies, late-night slow dances, and your laughter colliding into the walls until we're laying in ruins, under a soft veil of stars.

I want to come sweetly undone. And everyone, all the while, watching in awe.

I don't think there is room for me here. Here, in this landlocked jungle, where everyone is a recycled version of both their true selves and the selves they let fall. Where everyone is fighting over the scraps of brilliance that pass, flighty, through this town. As a dream, you disappear with the morning.

I want to see. The way they all scream for you. The way your hair frames your eyes when you smile. This is entirely too much.

I can feel the strong hands of the universe.
And they are ripping me apart.


Doesn't take too much to upset her

I'm standing on the edge of something bigger than I wanted.
I wonder if I'll miss myself once I change again

It feels like coming home after a long drive.

Alabama, Arkansas

Alright..time to clean up and move on.

Hoowwww much am I loving this song right now?
Answer: Perhaps too much

Can't wait for spring and having nothing to do. Hopefully that doesn't turn out to be a bad thing..

All things go

Possibly one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever heard..
[and I thought the original was amazing..but this version puts Sufjan on an entirely new level]
If i was crying
In the van with my friend
It was for freedom
From myself and
From the land.

Oh, if I could laugh, I'd love you..

Oh, if I could smile at anything you said.
We could be laughing lovers...
I think you'd prefer to be miserable instead.
If I could love I'd love you,
Oh, if I could love like anybody else...
Like anybody else...
Like anybody else.



But you're just a boy,
You don't understand...

At night...

I'm not sure if this is just me, but it feels like I am constantly evolving... to the point where I think of myself in each year previous and I can hardly stand it.

Is a life of perpetual embarassment normal?

What is the purpose of this confidence if a year from this date, I will be looking upon myself and shaking my head in disgust at the way I used to walk, laugh, and treat others?

It is trainwrecks such as this that leave me wide awake and wondering at 4:35 in the morning.

You just keep me hangin' on

Lou Reed, where would I be without you?

Dynastie Crisis!

Pretty much the best thing I've ever heard: